Forever
by KBeternallove
Summary: Sam deals with the loss of his love, Frodo.


Forever

"Mr. Frodo don't let go of my hand."

"You have to let go of me, Sam."

"Never. I will never let you go. You can't give up now when we are so close to freedom. I love you. You have to hang on. You promised, Fordo."

"I know that I promised Sam, but I can't do this anymore. You need to let me go. My journey is over now. I love you, too, but you can't save me this time. I have always loved you and I will be waiting for you."

He let go of my hand. I tried, my God, I tried, but the one hand of his I held was covered in sweat. I dropped him into the fires of Mount Doom.

I watched you fall. He smiled up at me. I looked away before you hit the lava. I couldn't watch you die. I could not watch the only love I have ever known be extinguished from this life.

I start to cry. It has been two weeks. I haven't been able to tell the others what happened on Mount Doom until now. They cannot ever understand. I miss you so much. When I retell them our story, I omit our story. It was about a month ago. I confessed my love to you. I had always loved you; I loved you before destiny threw us together into the quest. I feared that you would reject me, but you kissed me instead. You promised we could be together once the quest was over. We wouldn't care what anyone thought. One thing led to another, and I found myself curled up in your arms with our clothes several feet away.

I am sitting by a fountain crying when Gandalf walks up to me. He sits down by me.

We sit together for several minutes before he finally says something to me, "Sam, I know what you are going through. It will be hard before it gets better, but I promise that it will get better."

I can't stop crying. "You do not know what I'm going trough."

"I understand. You two were in love. Don't look so startled. I have known since you two were young hobbits. Neither of you ever saw it. I chose you to accompany Frodo because I knew the two of you could never be apart."

I stare at my reflection in the water and say, "How can life get better? I just lost the only person that made my life worth living. The pain gets worse with each passing day. I don't think I can do this."

"I can't stop you from doing something if you want to do it, but know that we are all here for you. I know it is not the same, but maybe you could learn to live with this."

I don't know what to say. I finally sputter out, "Thank you Gandalf. I will keep that in mind."

I love you and I will love you until my last breath.

I am retracing our journey. I have traveled and recounted the memories that bring so much pain.

I am standing in front of the river where we set off from the others. It is the place where I told you that I would never leave you and that I would protect you. I think this is the end of my retracing.

I feel your pull. You want me with you. I want to be with you. I cannot resist.

I slowly begin to wade into the river. I see all of our trials and tribulation. I see Gollum stealing you away from me and I was stupid enough to leave you. I watch as I think that you were stabbed. I watch as I think that that spider killed you. I see the ring slowly destroying you; the ring slowly was taking you away from me.

I am up to me neck in water. I see us struggling to get up to the top of Mount Doom. You were so weak that I had to carry you to the top. The ring consumed the person that you were; all you could think about was keeping that ring. I watch as you fall into the lava. I see your funeral. I recall all the times since that should have been happy but were not because you were not there with me. I can tell that my pain is almost over.

I take the final step that plunges me full into the water. Now I remember your smiling face and bright blue eyes that I was fascinated by. I see us growing up together. I watch all of the good times that we shared over the years. I see the future we were robbed of. I could never blame you. It seems fitting that you are my last thoughts.

Everything fades to black.

I wake up slowly. I am very confused. Peering around, I see I am in front of Bags End. Everything is as I remember it.

I search frantically for you. I don't find you in the place that we would always meet before the quest. The garden bench is empty. After all of this, could they deny us an eternity together?

I run into the house. It looks like it did before we left. I run into your study, but there is no sign of life.

I break down. I begin to weep. This is my Hell; an eternity of miss you. My sobs are so loud that I don't hear footsteps behind me. I do feel yours arms wrap around my middle, though.

"I'm sorry I didn't greet you, but I wasn't expecting to see you for a very long time. I wanted you to live a long and happy life," you whisper in my ear.

"Oh, Frodo. I have missed you so much. I could live life without you."

I feel your hot tears against the side of my neck. You are so close to me. It doesn't seem like this can be real.

"I've missed you, too."

"Frodo is this real or have I made this up? Have I gone crazy from missing you?"

"I don't know if this is real or not, but do you really want to fight this? I don't want to fight this." You turn me around so that we are face-to-face. You kiss me and hold me tight against you. I can feel your heartbeat and hear you breathing. This is real enough for me.

"Frodo?"

"Yes, Sam?"

I feel nervous, but I need to know, "Frodo...when you said you would love me forever and that you wanted to spend forever with me, did you mean it?"

"I did. I do. I will."


End file.
